I wore my boobs to the weigh-in today...

...and I'm not sorry! I thought they'd gain me a good pound or two, but it turns out they only weigh 12 ounces (I weighed them on my kitchen scale when I got home). Oh well, it was a good try!

Why the deceit? I just am SO TIRED of everyone making a fuss over my weight. I'd been dropping weight steadily since treatment started, actually had dropped about 20 pounds before that (thanks to Fosomax-induced swallowing issues). I've lost a pound or two every week since then, and had a big drop 2 weeks ago that freaked out my doctors. "5 or 10 more pounds and we'll have to put a feeding tube in your stomach," they warned. Which of course frightened the bejeebers out of me!

So I guess that fear of the feeding tube led me to be a bit deceitful today. On Wednesdays, after radiation, I meet with my radiation oncologist. He is great, but he's the one making the biggest fuss over my weight. Even though I'd been eating really well lately, I thought it wouldn't hurt to throw an extra pound or two in. After radiation, I changed into my clothes and put on my bra (with the prostheses). Not including the 12-ounce boobs, I actually gained 4 pounds since last week! Pretty cool. I fessed up to my parents and John, but not the doctor. Didn't think he would find it funny, and I was afraid he might have me frisked before future weigh-ins.

Unfortunately, my weight has become a pretty serious issue. Last week, when everyone was so upset over my weight, I weighed in at 112 pounds. That's with my clothes and shoes on. I'm 5-foot, 7-inches tall (actually 5-foot 6-3/8inches but I round up). My normal weight is between 130 and 135. Before all this nonsense started, it had crept up to 140. Then when I had all those swallowing problems after starting Fosomax, it fell down to the 120s. So I started off treatment on the low side, and each week of chemo made me more tired than the last. I've had more swallowing issues from the radiation, and fatigue from chemo. Thursday through Saturday I can't eat much, even though John wakes me every 2 hours to give me soup or pudding or whatever.....wah wah wah....

So you can imagine, seeing the scale read 116.9 pounds today was the greatest feeling! I was so proud! The main reason I was able to gain some pounds back? My oncologist gave me the week off from chemo last week. Last Tuesday, I was so weak from the past 4 weeks of chemo and radiation, and I had dropped so much weight and was again having trouble eating, she felt a break would do me good. And within 3 days, I felt like a normal person again. I actually felt better than I had in months! I ate and ate and ate. I played with the kids. It was wonderful, the best New Year's gift ever!

And thanks to my chemo break, when I went in for chemo yesterday, I went in feeling strong again. Chemo makes me hungry (I think it's the steroids) and so I ate almost the whole time I was plugged in. I ate when I got home. I ate several meals today and am looking forward to my mid-evening snack! I've got to pack on the pounds because when I crash my appetite will be gone for a few days. I don't expect to gain weight, I just want to maintain it. And if I can keep it at 115/116, I'll be happy and so will my doctors.

To think, I didn't need the boobs after all!