OK, can I heal now?

I saw Roz at my surgeon's office yesterday, and she took the steri-strips off from my touchup surgery. My skin is healing beautifully, she said. And my scar looks great, for a scar.

Roz (the nurse) is not my doctor's nurse. Virginia is his nurse. But whenever I've had stuff removed post-surgery....drains, staples, whatever....Roz is the one who sees me. No wait, that's not entirely true. Virginia removed the drains after my lumpectomy in February. Roz removed the drains and staples after my mastectomies in September. They're both really nice women, but Roz is a lot gentler than Virginia.

Thanks to Virginia, I spent most of my post-mastectomy time dreading having the drains removed. When Virginia took the drain out in February, she yanked and it hurt like you wouldn't believe. I remember that pain better than childbirth. I had only 1 drain in February, but 3 in September!

So in September, while I lay in my hospital bed with not much to do, and later at home whenever I had a quiet moment, I remembered that awful yanking and prayed that the drains would fall out on their own....painlessly, of course, and preferably while I was sleeping.

Fortunately, I saw Roz for my post-mastectomy visit and she talked me through some visualization while she eased the drains out. I felt a wee bit ridiculous, talking with her about my "happy place" (in the garden), but I felt no discomfort from the drain removal process. All 3 of them!

Same thing on Tuesday when Roz took the steri-strips off. I was afraid my skin was going to go with it, but as she peeled them off my skin remained. In fact, I didn't even know she was going to take them off. We were just talking and--boom--they were gone.

Amazing what a difference a calm, gentle personality makes!

And the best part of the visit: my pathology report showed no residual cancer! Just a well-healed scar and some normal tissue. That was a big relief. (The recurrence was on my lumpectomy scar, and the whole reason for this touchup surgery was so the surgeon could get a wider margin around the first scar. When he did the mastectomy on the left side, he was afraid my recently-radiated skin couldn't take a wide excision, so he took the minimum to get the cancer and see how the skin took to the stretching. He told me at my post-op visit back in October that he'd feel better taking a bigger chunk around the mastectomy scar, once he was certain my skin had enough elasticity. That's why we waited until November for the touchup. Sorry if this is too much information!)

I also learned on Tuesday that I can't lift Jesse for another week. He's almost 35 pounds now, and at 19 months he is definitely a mama's boy so he's not too thrilled about Mommy not lifting him. But he's big enough to climb up into his highchair, with a little boost. And I can help him out of his crib without hurting either one of us, so we get by. John's working from home this week to be available when I need some muscle. Emma has helped, too, by lifting him into his crib or playpen for me.

So other than enlisting family members' help with baby, I'm back to normal: I can drive, I can shower, I can do whatever I want within reason. And I even got permission to go to my dance class (I was going anyway, I just asked out of curiosity) but only after I promised not to do any crazy arms for at least another week.

Now, for the 3rd time since February....all I have to do is heal. Hooray!