Gotta keep on keepin' on.......

Cancer again...that's 3 times in 2 years. This time it’s not breast cancer, but a new one called squamous cell carcinoma. New cancer, same old fighting spirit! My blog is still named for one of many songs that kept me going the first time around. Driving home from an upsetting appointment, I turned on the radio just as this line from Steve Miller Band's Jet Airliner was playing: "I've got to keep on keepin' on"....so I did just that. And I'll do it again.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

hopefully today will not be a total bust (pun intended)

8:30PM ***See update below!***
Good morning! A quick post before I get Frances moving along. She has speech today, and I'm happy to report she is doing well and working with her teacher. A wonderful change from just weeks ago!

After speech, I'll drop Frances off (John is working from home this week, to be available should I need help lifting baby. It also works out well since I have lots of appointments this week).

Then it's off to find some new breasts. Yes, I finally decided that it was time to get fitted for some prostheses (i.e., silicone boobs).

I am hoping today is much more productive, and less tearful, than Monday. On Monday I went to a highly-recommended boutique that specializes in prostheses and bras for younger women. (I know I've turned 40 at least 3 times now, but I still consider myself young!) I won't go into details about Monday's appointment, but I left with nothing that day and sat in my car and cried for about 20 minutes before going shopping, always a perker-upper.

Today I have high hopes for Nordstrom's, where my friend's mother said I'd have better luck. Fran is a 2-time breast cancer survivor. She went with me on Monday. I feel very close to her, not only because she has always been so nice to me and my family (even before my diagnosis), but also because we have so much in common, cancer-wise. Her cancer hit her in her 30s/40s and she has been cancer-free for 30 years. Fran says that Nordstrom's bra selection is much better, nothing like the horrid "old-lady" bras we saw at the boutique. Maybe I'll tell you more about that experience later. I need some time to find the humor in it.

So, like this post's title says, hopefully today won't be a total bust like Monday was. Actually....now that I think about it, maybe it should be a total bust! I'd like to walk out with some new breasts today! Or at least have a nice pair on order.

UPDATE: 8:30PM....Success!!! and no tears!
At my appointment today, I learned from my new friend Gwen, the Nordstrom's certified post-surgery bra fitter, that I can choose any bra off the rack and their alterations department can sew a little pocket in each cup (to hold the prostheses and keep them from falling out). How nice to have the freedom to choose the bras I want, and not be stuck with the OLBs (what my friend Fran called the "old lady bras" at the boutique we visited on Monday).

I also learned that I've been wearing the wrong size bra all these years. And did you know that 8 out of 10 women are wearing the wrong bra right now? The sign in the fitting room said so. It sounds serious!

With Gwen's help, I picked out a set of prosthesis that can fit in a bra pocket AND can also adhere directly to my chest. That will come in very handy for the spring dance recital (no worrying about anything flying out mid-routine). The back of each prostheses has these little bubbles of goo that helps it stick right to your skin, like octopus tentacles. Not that I've had an octopus grab me with his tentacles lately.....but I imagine that's what it would feel like.

To tell you the truth, the idea of sticky boobs still kind of grosses me out. I like the flexibility it offers, but I don't think I'm ready to stick those babies on just yet. So I'll leave the backing on and use the pocket until I'm ready to try the stick-on feature. Probably just for special occasions, like dance recitals, or when I run the Race for the Cure.

Anyway, I selected 2 bras and Gwen sent them to Alterations for pockets. I can pick them up next week. In the meantime, I wore my new boobs home. Just tucked them into my regular bra, which I had been wearing on occasion (mainly, to church) but with nothing stuffed in it. It worked well for church, really! The empty bra held its shape enough that under a blouse that was under a suit jacket, you'd never know.....unless you walked up and poked me in the chest, in which case it would dent. Fortunately, no one tried that.

I was so thrilled when I got home that I showed off my lovely shape to John, who nodded approval as he ducked into the study for a conference call. No matter, I danced around the kitchen anyway for Frances and Jesse, and was only slightly embarrassed when my left boob fell out. Apparently, they don't stay in very well without the pocket. Frances didn't even notice, but Jesse was fast! He pounced on it as it fell on the floor. I guess I'll have to be careful and not leave these boobies lying around. And perhaps I should wait for my new bras with the special pockets!

14 Comments:

  • At 12/5/07, 10:04 AM, Blogger Crooked Eyebrow said…

    I hope you have a busting good time shopping.

    Our hospital in my town has a "shop" for women with cancers and they provider an area to buy wigs, scarves and boobs. They even offer salon/make over services.

    I never realized what a great idea that was until I read your post.

     
  • At 12/5/07, 2:02 PM, Blogger Sherry said…

    Okay, I have to do this...

    "all I want for Christmas is my 2 front boobs, my 2 front boobs, my 2 front boobs".... I know..I'm nuts!!

    Happy shopping my friend...and my Nordstrom's be paradise for you.

    Totally understand the tears...this is a big purchase for you...and it's not about the money, it's about trying to "replace" something that can never be replaced, that you never should have had to lose in the first place. And being happy with how you look...not like an "old lady".

    Girlfriend, you get the chance now to have the upright perky version...forever!! (((muah)))

     
  • At 12/5/07, 2:25 PM, Blogger bella said…

    Hope you have success today.
    THis post made me ache.
    Thinking of you.
    much love.

     
  • At 12/5/07, 8:25 PM, Blogger KT said…

    Hi Ms. Crooked Eyebrow, Sherry, and Bella, thank you for your encouraging words. I'm happy to report that I wore my "new pair" home this afternoon! Katie

     
  • At 12/5/07, 10:09 PM, Blogger Jenster said…

    KT - I'm so glad you're happy with your new ta-tas! Nordstrom is the absolute best!

     
  • At 12/5/07, 10:16 PM, Blogger lahdeedah said…

    Katie,

    I not only am wearing the wrong size bra, I am almost certain I am wearing the wrong size thong :)

    I hope the new girls are feeling more at home. I also hope you're feeling better. I've had those sit-in-my-car-and-sob moments, too. Some of them were after bra shopping when I had "real" breasts, some of them were more recent.

    You're adjusting to this all with such grace and optimism and humor. You should be incredibly proud of yourself.

    xoxo

    Jill

     
  • At 12/6/07, 8:22 AM, Blogger Sherry said…

    I'm glad you wore them home and are happy with your new girls. I was being light and airy when I posted yesterday and certainly wasn't being flippant or uncaring. I was trying to give you a shot of smiles after the tears. But in re-reading what I wrote yesterday I'm feeling that I didn't hit the mark. Sincere apologies from me...and I'm so pleased for you that Nordstrom's was the place to go!

     
  • At 12/6/07, 7:14 PM, Blogger KT said…

    Hey Sherry, I loved your "two front boobs" song! My dad often sings the actual version of "two front teeth", complete with sound effects (the whistling/lisping) so I thought your version was hysterical. I'm always looking for laughs in less-than-ideal situations, and I appreciated your comment very much, believe me! Katie

     
  • At 12/7/07, 1:01 PM, Blogger Sherry said…

    (((Katie))) I feel better now. I had a lumpectomy so I've still got my girls. Even though we're all on this journey together, I can't even begin to know how it feels to go through the surgery or the reconstruction or looking for the implants...I can understand from a woman's point of view and from a cancer survivor's point of view, but it is women who have lived this part of the journey who understand. I just wanted to be clear that I wasn't being off hand about something that is so private and so emotional.

    I do know you have a good sense of humour and that you look for the lightness in the dark and I'm glad you understood what I was doing/saying/feeling.

    Bless you bunches!!

     
  • At 12/10/07, 10:15 AM, Blogger bella said…

    Happy to hear of the success.
    I loved the image of you dancing around, celebrating your new boobs.
    And I am certain I am wearing the wrong size bra. Maybe I'll go get the correct size to ring in the new year.

     
  • At 12/11/07, 10:43 PM, Blogger Jenster said…

    Hey KT - I just wanted to come over here and thank you so much for your comments on my post about my bad day. You weren't preachy in the least! And I love that scripture. Thank you for sharing it with me.

     
  • At 12/18/07, 10:47 AM, Blogger SweetAnnee said…

    Katie..isn't it glorious to be a girl???
    who wants Old Lady Bras??? I sure dont
    even if I AM an old lady. I will be walking with you.. and keeping you in my prayers..
    fondly deena


    following Sherry's lead

    On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
    a maaaassstectomy

    teehee, deena

     
  • At 12/24/07, 12:58 PM, Blogger lahdeedah said…

    Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family, Katie!

    Jill

     
  • At 1/3/08, 9:23 AM, Blogger SweetAnnee said…

    Katie dear..I think you should let us
    see these new bras!!
    are they oh so feminine??
    I'm hoping you'll post again
    soon!!
    fondly, deena

     

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