Gotta keep on keepin' on.......

Cancer again...that's 3 times in 2 years. This time it’s not breast cancer, but a new one called squamous cell carcinoma. New cancer, same old fighting spirit! My blog is still named for one of many songs that kept me going the first time around. Driving home from an upsetting appointment, I turned on the radio just as this line from Steve Miller Band's Jet Airliner was playing: "I've got to keep on keepin' on"....so I did just that. And I'll do it again.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

What's new, you ask? You'll be sorry!

How are things going? You'll be sorry you asked! I finally finished radiation, my 5-days-a-week zapping, on Wednesday January 28th. I even received a certificate of completion from the staff. My last chemo, for this round at least, was Tuesday January 27th.

So now I am on a break. A 3-week break, until February 17th when I go back for more chemo. This next time it will be a regular dose, not the weekly low-dose of chemo I've been getting since early December. I'll get another 3 weeks off, then more heavy duty chemo on March 10th. End of March, I'll get a PET scan (I have to wait that long for the radiation effects to settle down) and we'll see what impact the treatment had on the tumor.

Wheee! I get a break! Am I skipping around, kicking up my heels, living life to its fullest? NO! Why? BECAUSE I FEEL REALLY CR@PPY! I am more tired than when I was going to radiation every morning at 8:00! The last 2 mornings I've slept in....1pm yesterday, 11am today. My ribs ache from coughing so much. My throat gets all constricted when I try to eat, and if I do get 2 bites of something down, it sticks in my esophagus and feels like a heart attack until I wash it down with warm water. I can't drink anything cold or carbonated, else I get the dagger-in-the-esophagus feeling all the way down. My radiation oncologist said it will get worse before it gets better, but this is ridiculous!

I haven't showered since Monday and I know I stink. I've taken more Percocet in the last 2 days than I've taken all during treatment. I'm miserable and I want to eat pizza and sip a gingerale but it is too painful.

Did I tell you you'd be sorry you asked how I was?

My friend Janet called me a few months ago, I think it was in late December. I hadn't posted in a while, and she knows I like to put a positive spin on my blog posts, so she was concerned about me. And she was right. At that time I was really wiped out from the weekly chemo, and I didn't have a lot of nice things to say. So I wrote nothing.

But today I've been thinking about that conversation with Janet and I thought, maybe I should try a little honesty. What do you think? TMI? Or honesty is good? I guess I wouldn't mind complaining if I could just find something funny about it. The only really funny thing is my hair, which hasn't been washed in days. I have wicked "bed head" and I look like a homeless person. (Believe it or not, I still haven't lost my hair. I'm happy about that, at least! It's been thinning a bit but not falling out in clumps. I do expect by March it will be gone. This next chemo will be pretty strong so I think that will be the final blow.)

I'm sure in a few days I'll be feeling better. By Sunday, I hope, because we're hosting a little birthday tea party for Frances (she turned 5 on February 2nd) and 6 of her preschool friends. I'll need to be showered and presentable by then. And maybe the party will give me something positive to write about!

2 Comments:

  • At 2/4/09, 7:00 PM, Blogger Daria said…

    KT,

    I have friends who inspire me to ... 'tell it like it is'. I am passing on the support.

    People need to know how it really is.

    Hope you are better for Sunday,
    Daria

     
  • At 2/5/09, 12:45 PM, Blogger Prof. Katz said…

    Hey Kate,

    I think you're entitled to a little freedom of expression. It sure sounds sh*tty, so I'm glad you're able to vent a little. I know I don't mind listening.

    Hang in there.

    Love, El

     

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