they're fake and they're spectacular
Any Seinfeld fans out there? You might remember the episode when Jerry dated a woman who had, as my husband would say, a "tremendous rack"? Teri Hatcher played that character on the show. Elaine, convinced that the woman's breasts couldn't possibly be real, followed her into the sauna at their gym, hoping to catch a glimpse. But naturally, Elaine tripped and fell--hands outstretched--right onto Teri Hatcher and her breasts, and discovered they were indeed very real.
While John no doubt enjoyed anything related to Teri Hatcher's breasts, I thought the funniest part was when Teri Hatcher's character learned of the outrageous discussion/events regarding her breasts, and she broke up with Jerry. Her parting words: "They're real and they're spectacular!"
This line has been repeated in our house so many times, usually whenever I was pregnant or nursing....because really, they were spectacular!
When I stopped nursing and they returned to normal (i.e., not so spectacular), this line made for an even better joke. But before I could take it too personally, I'd have another baby and they'd be spectacular again.
Through eight years and four babies, that line made for many a laugh in our house; though these days, we've modified it a bit. After my lumpectomy in February of this year, they were "crooked and spectacular" since the left one pointed east while the right (healthy one) sagged south. After radiation this spring, they were still crooked but now also "sunburned raw and spectacular".
Even after my mastectomies, what better way to cheer me up than to tell me how spectacular my scars were!
Now I have my new boobs, my prostheses that I wear when I go out somewhere, like to the market. As I prance around the house getting ready and flaunting my lovely shape, I tell John "They're fake and they're spectacular" and we chuckle. We also think about how lucky we are, for so many reasons. And how that makes us, breasts or no breasts, so very spectacular.
Thanks Jerry Seinfeld, for giving us something to laugh about!
While John no doubt enjoyed anything related to Teri Hatcher's breasts, I thought the funniest part was when Teri Hatcher's character learned of the outrageous discussion/events regarding her breasts, and she broke up with Jerry. Her parting words: "They're real and they're spectacular!"
This line has been repeated in our house so many times, usually whenever I was pregnant or nursing....because really, they were spectacular!
When I stopped nursing and they returned to normal (i.e., not so spectacular), this line made for an even better joke. But before I could take it too personally, I'd have another baby and they'd be spectacular again.
Through eight years and four babies, that line made for many a laugh in our house; though these days, we've modified it a bit. After my lumpectomy in February of this year, they were "crooked and spectacular" since the left one pointed east while the right (healthy one) sagged south. After radiation this spring, they were still crooked but now also "sunburned raw and spectacular".
Even after my mastectomies, what better way to cheer me up than to tell me how spectacular my scars were!
Now I have my new boobs, my prostheses that I wear when I go out somewhere, like to the market. As I prance around the house getting ready and flaunting my lovely shape, I tell John "They're fake and they're spectacular" and we chuckle. We also think about how lucky we are, for so many reasons. And how that makes us, breasts or no breasts, so very spectacular.
Thanks Jerry Seinfeld, for giving us something to laugh about!
10 Comments:
At 12/28/07, 1:48 PM, Jenster said…
That's been a standard line in our house, too!!! Love Seinfeld.
My breast surgeon told me I had fabulous flaps when I went for my post-surgical check up. Not a lot of women can say that! :o)
Glad you're doing so well!! And you're right. A year after my mastectomy I received a one-boob bikini cake from some friends with a card that said, "Thank you for having your boob cut off so you're still around to receive tacky and crass gifts like this cake." LOL!!
Funny, but oh so very true!
At 12/28/07, 10:10 PM, Sherry said…
Hysterical!!! I think there's a Seinfeld episode for just about everything in life but this one is perfect!!
I have the lumpectomy boobies...one goes east, the other sags south and after rads the one going east is VERY perky!!!
Hope you guys had a "spectacular" Christmas!!
At 12/29/07, 7:17 PM, bella said…
This post was spectacular.
Fake, real, saggy, perky, burned, uneven, it is all spectacular.
What is most tremendous to me is your humor in the whole thing.
And you are a gifted writer.
At 12/30/07, 1:37 PM, Jenster said…
When I started suspecting my lump was something other than just a benign something was when I developed what I call MFS - Marty Feldman Syndrome. The right nipple was focused straight ahead while the left nipple was staring off into space. LOL
Now I just wish I HAD nipples. :o)
At 12/31/07, 4:25 PM, Crooked Eyebrow said…
So funny!
I love reading your humor.
I hope you have a happy, healthy, spectacular New Years!
At 1/1/08, 12:32 AM, Sherry said…
Katie, just stopping by to wish you a very happy new year. May this year be filled with love, health, joy, laughter and all of it in abundance!!!
At 1/1/08, 5:49 PM, SweetAnnee said…
Yes..I'm a fan
and NOW I can say that
too..
I pray 2008 is a blessed year
for you
and so glad you and John
can laugh at the
trials of breast cancer!!
tis the BEST medicine
fondly, deena
At 1/3/08, 9:31 AM, Anonymous said…
Kate,
Glad to hear you're doing so well. Talk to you soon! Thinking of you always...
Elin
At 1/5/08, 11:25 AM, lahdeedah said…
Dang. I did it again, Katie. I left you a long comment and must have mucked up the sending process somehow. Anyhoo.
I am a Seinfeld disciple, so I am more than familiar with "they're real and they're spectacular!"
What I wrote a few days back is that yours are real, too, as well as spectacular. They may not be the originals, but they're as real as anything else in this world.
Hope you had a fabulous holiday. I'm looking forward to connecting with my bc buds again!
xoxo
Jill
At 1/11/08, 7:59 PM, SweetAnnee said…
Thanks KT for the email..I did visit the oncologist today..
and will be posting ..
any little help is totally appreciated.
fondly, deena
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