I'm getting tired of whining here!

OK, I am getting really tired of whining, so I will tone it down a little. I am still feeling pretty blah, but I get moments of energy here and there, which I'll take anytime. I'm thinking my problem is that I'm not eating enough. I'm too tired to fix myself anything, and my family had gotten used to me taking care of myself (I was doing great that first week after chemo/radiation ended)....so when I didn't ask for help no one knew I needed help.

So now I am asking for help. It's hard to do, I really hate being waited on, but a girl's gotta eat! My mom made me breakfast this morning, scrambled eggs which went down OK. I made myself some hot chocolate laced with Carnation Instant Breakfast drink. That wasn't too painful, the making or the drinking part.

I even ran Frances' birthday tea party yesterday. That was a lot of fun, though I did have helpers. I felt so bad about it. I was too tired to do any of the cleaning or setup on Sunday, so John and my Mom took on those tasks. I just wrote the "to-do" list and shuffled around looking pathetic and apologizing to everyone that I was such a slug.

The party started at 3:00, so I was showered and upright and ready for the 5 little 5-year-old girls to arrive. They were so cute! They all came in pretty dresses (Frances wore the bridesmaid dress her big sister Emma had worn in a wedding when she was 5) and some even wore garden party hats. Emma helped the girls "glam up" a bit with stick-on earrings and a tiny bit of eyeshadow. Leah hovered and helped them with their princess crown craft.

We played outside on the playground (imagine 6 little girls in their pretty dresses and foam-craft crowns, climbing the rock wall and playing in the mulch!) and opened presents, served tea (pink lemonade), talked about tea party manners (napkin on lap, wait for everyone to be served, sip don't slurp, etc.), and had some cake and ice cream. Then we let the girls loose in the playroom upstairs, where we keep the dressup clothes. That was a party in itself! The moms and dads had a tough time pulling them away to go home!

When I scheduled this party, several weeks ago, I was certain that it was a good date. Certainly, 2 weeks out from chemo/radiation ending I'd be my usual perky self. Not so. That was really disappointing. But I guess with cancer, anything goes. You really never know how it will affect you. I was strong when I went through treatment for breast cancer 2 years ago. I figured this would be the same. Again, not so! But that's all right. We had a wonderful party anyway, with the little girls in their tea party dresses and shiny shoes. I made a doll cake (actually John had to bake the cake for me, but I frosted and decorated it, and got the Barbie doll dressed and stuck her in the cake) which the girls all ooh'd and ahh'd over.

What fun we had on Sunday! Frances was beaming in her beautiful dress. The afternoon was pretty magical. I'm so glad my energy delivered for Frances' special day. I was nervous because of how tired I'd been, but it turned out just fine, thank you!

Here's a picture of the cake. The birthday girl stole one of the jellybeans off the dress, but it was a beautiful cake just the same!

Not sure why there is a "3" written on the Barbie dress. It was there when I found it in the confiscated Barbie clothes box I keep in my room. (Barbie clothes left on the floor for too long become Mommy's) Anyway, it was the best I could do on short notice. I still think she's a beautiful doll!