Gotta keep on keepin' on.......

Cancer again...that's 3 times in 2 years. This time it’s not breast cancer, but a new one called squamous cell carcinoma. New cancer, same old fighting spirit! My blog is still named for one of many songs that kept me going the first time around. Driving home from an upsetting appointment, I turned on the radio just as this line from Steve Miller Band's Jet Airliner was playing: "I've got to keep on keepin' on" I did just that. And I'll do it again.

Monday, February 09, 2009

I'm getting tired of whining here!

OK, I am getting really tired of whining, so I will tone it down a little. I am still feeling pretty blah, but I get moments of energy here and there, which I'll take anytime. I'm thinking my problem is that I'm not eating enough. I'm too tired to fix myself anything, and my family had gotten used to me taking care of myself (I was doing great that first week after chemo/radiation ended) when I didn't ask for help no one knew I needed help.

So now I am asking for help. It's hard to do, I really hate being waited on, but a girl's gotta eat! My mom made me breakfast this morning, scrambled eggs which went down OK. I made myself some hot chocolate laced with Carnation Instant Breakfast drink. That wasn't too painful, the making or the drinking part.

I even ran Frances' birthday tea party yesterday. That was a lot of fun, though I did have helpers. I felt so bad about it. I was too tired to do any of the cleaning or setup on Sunday, so John and my Mom took on those tasks. I just wrote the "to-do" list and shuffled around looking pathetic and apologizing to everyone that I was such a slug.

The party started at 3:00, so I was showered and upright and ready for the 5 little 5-year-old girls to arrive. They were so cute! They all came in pretty dresses (Frances wore the bridesmaid dress her big sister Emma had worn in a wedding when she was 5) and some even wore garden party hats. Emma helped the girls "glam up" a bit with stick-on earrings and a tiny bit of eyeshadow. Leah hovered and helped them with their princess crown craft.

We played outside on the playground (imagine 6 little girls in their pretty dresses and foam-craft crowns, climbing the rock wall and playing in the mulch!) and opened presents, served tea (pink lemonade), talked about tea party manners (napkin on lap, wait for everyone to be served, sip don't slurp, etc.), and had some cake and ice cream. Then we let the girls loose in the playroom upstairs, where we keep the dressup clothes. That was a party in itself! The moms and dads had a tough time pulling them away to go home!

When I scheduled this party, several weeks ago, I was certain that it was a good date. Certainly, 2 weeks out from chemo/radiation ending I'd be my usual perky self. Not so. That was really disappointing. But I guess with cancer, anything goes. You really never know how it will affect you. I was strong when I went through treatment for breast cancer 2 years ago. I figured this would be the same. Again, not so! But that's all right. We had a wonderful party anyway, with the little girls in their tea party dresses and shiny shoes. I made a doll cake (actually John had to bake the cake for me, but I frosted and decorated it, and got the Barbie doll dressed and stuck her in the cake) which the girls all ooh'd and ahh'd over.

What fun we had on Sunday! Frances was beaming in her beautiful dress. The afternoon was pretty magical. I'm so glad my energy delivered for Frances' special day. I was nervous because of how tired I'd been, but it turned out just fine, thank you!

Here's a picture of the cake. The birthday girl stole one of the jellybeans off the dress, but it was a beautiful cake just the same!

Not sure why there is a "3" written on the Barbie dress. It was there when I found it in the confiscated Barbie clothes box I keep in my room. (Barbie clothes left on the floor for too long become Mommy's) Anyway, it was the best I could do on short notice. I still think she's a beautiful doll!


  • At 2/10/09, 10:40 PM, Blogger Jenster said…

    The party sounds divine. And I'm glad you have help! Asking for it is hard, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

    Beautiful cake!

  • At 2/11/09, 12:36 PM, Anonymous Pat Wellington said…

    Katie, I love that doll cake! We understand Ken and Nancy may be coming to see you in a day or two...for a quick visit on their way from NJ to Florida to see us...that is, if you feel up to company. I have an idea for something you could eat that might taste good and be nutritious..(perhaps you already eat this..)...I just made a milkshake in the blender for Duke and me for lunch. Sometimes we also have it for breakfast. I put in a scoop of soy protein (or whey protein), milk, a raw egg and perhaps an extra white, some wheat germ, some instant Benefiber, and some fruit...we like frozen bananas. They make it thick. It is a good way to save your bananas as they go dark..just peel and put them in a baggie in the freezer. It is filling and delicious!
    Love, Pat and Duke

  • At 2/16/09, 10:04 PM, Blogger Prof. Katz said…

    Hey KT, I had a cake like that for my 7th birthday! My mom made it and I thought it was the coolest. You did an awesome job! I bet she'll remember it forever.

  • At 2/17/09, 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We talked with you mother this morning. Our daughter Cindy has a very similar story to yours. We enjoy your blog and pass on our love and prayers to you and yours.
    Les & Linda Cass

  • At 2/25/09, 10:43 PM, Blogger Diana Dyer said…

    HI Katie,
    Just today I was thinking about my favorite memories during the times I have been on chemo. Through a round about way, that led me to the very first posting on my own blog and then, finally, to your blog tonight. Believe it or not, one of my favorite memories of the first time I was on chemo at age 34 in 1984 was needing to have my friends run the birthday party for my 7 year old son. The love they showed in doing so still envelopes me like a favorite warm quilt. And I also had a doll cake birthday party, with gorgeous doll cakes made by my mother, when I turned 8. I can still picture them and the entire party as if it were yesterday, even though it is now 50 years ago. So I do think your daughter will remember this forever. :-)
    Diana Dyer


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